As I age, I have spent a fair amount of time over the years thinking about the Crucifixion during Holy Week, and particularly on Good Friday. Knowing that Jesus was fully God and fully human, I wonder how much he understood about what was to come in his final days on earth. It makes me think about my final days. Will there be excitement at facing our Lord and the reward of a life well-lived or regret for all the failures? Will I be aware of those last moments on earth? What will that very last breath be like?
I have been privileged to be with several family members and even some close friends as they faced their last days on earth and I realize that depending on the information shared by their doctor, their state of mind, as well as the knowledge of their body, and their faith; they do know the end is near. I have seen people who are tired of suffering and have gladly given their life over to God. And, I have also witnessed people who have fought for every last breath of their life.
Did Jesus know what his last few days would bring, all the suffering and pain? Yet, he willingly and graciously accepted it! He even forgave his persecutors with his last breaths.
Father, forgive them, they know not what they do. Lk. 23:34
And, then I read these words of his;
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Mk. 15:34
Maybe even Jesus wondered, as do I.